Free Clam Chowder

Free Clam Chowder from the Corner Deli

Garrett was a small business owner. After years behind the confines of the “cubicle” he decided to start his own business so after getting a loan, and making that big leap of faith, he started his dream deli. However, business wasn’t moving as well as he thought it would. Although he was sure the quality of his food was great, he needed to entice customers to pass by the store and try out all the tasty sandwiches he would make. It occurred to him, that he needed to create some kind of buzz around the joint. “Free Chowder!” It just popped into his mind. He’d offer free soup and that will get him a good flow of customers. He could now imagine the numbers rolling in and his clientele growing to a decent number.

Early in the morning, Garrett was working with a few of his friends, putting up the new sign outside the store. It was written in bright red cursive, and clearly stating “free chowder.” Well, it was November in Boston, and the wind was picking up and the weather was turning chilly. People could use a nice warm bowl of clam chowder. And actually customers were happy to come in and try the “free” soup. Although it was a dark and dreary day in Boston, the sun of success was finally shining on Garrett’s store up on Boylston Street. He was finally beginning to feel that things were moving in the right direction.

There was this one customer, a plump old fellow in his fifties. He’d come in every day with his newspaper and piece of bread. Sammy wasn’t your typical Bostonian. Notwithstanding his non-New England accent, his face would never show any signs of emotion or reaction whatsoever. Garrett didn’t pay much attention to him at first, but things were getting a bit weird. You see, Sammy kept coming in every day since Garrett’s offer went live. He would come in and only ask for the “free soup” where’s the “free clam chowdah,” he’d scream. And Garrett soon realized that in his eagerness to move his business along, he never did put any stipulations on the offer. So he had nothing to do except to offer Sammy the soup every time he came in. Now if clam chowder was cheap, Garrett wouldn’t have minded. But the guy was having soup every day and asking for seconds and thirds. Garrett realized he was in a fix, because he didn’t expect people to come in and only order the free chowder! Almost every single person would come in and try the chowder, and at the same time they would order other stuff.

Garrett had to do something about Sammy. He couldn’t stand watching him come in every day, and slurp the clam chowder of the day. Garrett would get annoyed just looking at Sammy’s checkered red and black shirt as he walked in day after day. Something had to be done and quickly. After yet another sleepless night, Garrett decided to put his morals and integrity aside in order to teach this guy a lesson. He passed the nearest CVS and bought the strongest over the counter laxative he could get his hands on. When his poor victim walked in that day, Garrett broke a half sinister smile, as he welcomed Sammy in and poured a special concoction of clam chowder and ultra-powerful laxative in the same bowl. Garrett laughed in his mind and thought if only the board of health were there to see him now. He promised himself it would just be this one time he would do such a thing. He would be careful in the future when coming up with promotions for his store.

Sammy, now in his usual daily routine, was enjoying the clam chowder immensely. He even ordered seconds, again that was no surprise. The first bowl had quite a bit of laxative mixed into to it, but it was obviously not enough. Garrett was thinking the same thing, since he couldn’t notice any affect whatsoever. When he gave Sammy the next portion, he made sure almost two thirds of the bowl was pure laxative. He even added a bit of extra garnishing on top to make sure Sammy wouldn’t taste the difference.

Sammy was eating the clam chowder like a baby having ice cream. His face seemed to be turning red now. Garrett was pleasantly surprised. He could have sworn he heard Sammy burp, although he didn’t see Sammy open his mouth. He guessed it was one of those internal burps that never get a chance to surface. Sammy got up off the stool he was on and wandered over to Garrett. “Where’s your toilet buddy?” he asked Garrett in a quiet sort of way. Garrett just point to the back of the deli and Sammy waddled over. There was a loud noise and lots of commotion but Garrett either out of spite or out of guilt or both, did not go and check what was going on. “Aaaaah! Eeeeooohh!” was some of what he heard. Some of his customers were getting worried as well. They were curious about what was going on.

Garrett just stood there at the counter almost like those street performers who sit still in the park and would only move if you throw a coin in the hat sitting in front of them. There was silence for a brief moment.

Sammy was walking slowly out of the restroom area. As he walked, he’d tilt left and then slowly he would tilt the other way. It didn’t look like things were in good shape.

Like someone who’d been drinking all night, Sammy stood at an angle. He was leaning on the counter as he whispered to Garrett. “Man, your bathroom won’t be enough for me I gotta go home!”

He said this as he ran out of the store holding his stomach and whimpering in pain. He walked and walked for a few minutes until he reached a stop light. As he waited for the light to turn green, a young man asked, “Excuse me sir, do you know where they’re offering free clam chowder?”

“Yes!” Sammy answered, “Just follow this brown line!”

Moral of the story, Nothing in life is free.


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What’s Better than Money

The mind slowly learns important things as time goes by. I have learned one very important lesson that I will carry forward with me till my dying day. Everything worth cherishing and loving, everything worth experiencing and appreciating is almost always better than money.

Now herein lies the dilemma. Many may say that a lot of experiences as well as other “things” can only be had with, you guessed it,  cold hard cash.

My view is that the list of the things money cant buy is greater than that other materialistic list. Also the degree of one’s happiness is directly proportional to the length of one’s list of things valued and appreciated. That is I  addition to the contents of that list.

Create your list wisely. Make sure it’s pure and non materialistic.  Value what has lasting and enduring meaning to a happy #perfectlife.

Everything is better than money.

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Tell me what you see


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February 28, 2013 · 12:02 pm

The Human Element

What are we? Creations of mud and blood? Or sophisticated layers of nerves intertwined with  feelings?  Are we material or spirit?

We are the essence of the most common yet uncommon fabric on earth.  We are the result and the effect. We are the mistakes and the subsequent successes. Yet we’re in constant learning.  We are failure and regrets, yet we are also hope and happiness. 

There is no answer to our being. The question we ask leads us forward or backward. We are thankful when the tide moves our way and angrily thankless when the going gets tough.

In the end we will see everything and know everything. In the end we die.

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Elevator Etiquette

When we enter the world of the elevator it’s like going into another realm or dimension where different rules apply.  The terms of reference are not the same. We start to behave in the most mysterious ways.

Below are some aspects of the elevator world :

1. Let people leave before you enter unless your a 400 pound gorilla.

2. If you press the wrong floor you must go to that floor step outside and re-enter another lift.

3. Once securely in the confines of the lift, and having pressed the correct button corresponding to the floor you want, you must then proceed to tilt your neck at a 45 degree angle and focus your gaze on the top digital indicator showing the progression of floors like its some very interesting Hollywood movie.

4. At no point in time should you hold more than 2 second eye contact with other passengers. Otherwise youll be viewed as a pervert or a possible sex partner depending on your level of attractivness.

5. You must face, as do all passengers, the same general direction of the door..with the same anticipation of those who followed Moses during the Exodus.

6. If you are generally stinky with unbearable B.O. feel free to stay on as long as possible inside the elevator while encouraging as many stops as possible. (NOT)

7. If you happen to be at the back of the crowded elevator and your floor comes up, you must proceed to stick out you arm in judo fashion as if you’ll be parting the red sea before uttering the words “ehem excuse me.”

8. The taller you are the more important for you to stand in front of shorter people obstructing their ability to see the glowing red floor number indicator.

9. If you are not on a wheelchair and happen to hop on to the elevator to go from one floor to an adjacent floor and on top of that heading in a descending direction then you should be neutered or spayed as your offspring will add no value whatsoever to the human genome.

10. If you can use stairs instead of elevators then feel free to do so.

Love peace and pancakes
From @worditorial 

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The One Thing

Spheres of influence

Let’s face it. Time doesn’t “fly.” It’s an abstraction, more poignant less dramatic, far more easily controlled than you may think. It’s not a visual or sensory experience, but a ramification of the change you undergo with every passing moment.

A lifetime, whether eighty ninety or a hundred hears, is but a pit stop, a silly spot on one’s timeline of events. There is no need to create dramatic change, but to focus the sphere of influence and power on a single point. To continuously take it forward, deeper, stronger.

In plain English, our time on earth is so short we can only make a dent on this big ball of dirt if we focus on one thing in our life.

The question each and every one of us have to answer, as we search for the “perfect life” is, “What is that one thing?”

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February 21, 2013 · 5:45 pm

Man the builder

Man the builder>
Civilized> Idealized
Society of Hope>
Building upon foundations>
Of dust> dangerously high>
Towers of great achievement>
Deliciously tantalizing the minds>
Yet corrupting the soul>
Man> the builder of things> painter
Of walls > creator of microchips>
Worthy of a million computers> yet
Not one can think on its own> for now
I shall stay silent>
For to speak> to sit still
Like a fly
Upon the horizon
Awaiting the
Swatter ..

@ worditorial

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